Motivational, leadership and self-helping books

 

A Review

Over the past year or so I have read few of these self- helping books, not just because I like reading but also because I feel that I could do with some help ( I am very humble).

Overall, I can honestly say that they don't help, I know this sounds arrogant and as if I have "I know it all" attitude, but the truth is that some ideas are helpful for some people in some situations providing that certain conditions are met, but overall these books do not offer any scientifically tested methods to improve the quality of your life or reach your potential.

Of course they vary in what they offer and how they offer it. Some are properly structured, some are enjoyable read, and some are just waste of time.

I will list these books (in the picture below) with some reflection on the contents, ideas presented and methodology used. I will be brief, to the point, and somehow harsh. It is important to note that these books are very subjective; therefore my judgement is well suited, because it is very subjective.

 

Simon Sinek
Start with why

I loved Simon Sinek's TED talk, it was really good and I wanted to read the book for some time but didn't get to it till recently.
The TED talk is 17 minutes, the book is 260 pages. Frankly, just watch the talk and save yourself the time and money. He is just rambling on and on about the same simple idea he presented in 17 minutes.

Make Your Bed
Admiral William H McRaven

I didn't read it; I tried but got really bored after the first few pages. Flicked through the book exploring and nothing caught my attention. Again, there is a YouTube video by the admiral that is concise and better than the book. The anecdotes and the way it is told felt like an army officer telling you how "you know nothing" and "you weren't there" sort of Hollywood performance, but in a really boring way.

7 Habits of highly effective people
Steve Covey

This is a very popular book, people recommend it and refer to it, so I approached it with high expectations, quickly I was disappointed.
There are some (emphasise on the literal meaning of some) good ideas, very useful and definitely make sense, but they are common sense.
The two main factors that made me dislike the book are the anecdotes and the lack of science (the latter is a common theme in all these types of books).
I will list a couple of anecdotes from the book, I will not explain, expand or elaborate, I hope that you will get the idea:
"I was on the subway, a man got on with two kids, they were disruptive and very loud, gradually everyone in the coach got annoyed. The man did nothing to stop them or control their behaviour. I eventually said to him: could you ask your children to calm down, please? He said: I think I should, we just got out of the hospital after their mum has died, I think they don't know what to do and niether do I".
"I wasn't happy with the accommodation, I complained to the vice chancellor and he said he will speak to the manager of the accommodation. He called me to his office and the manager of university accommodation was there, he asked me to inform him of what the problem was ".

This is often a reoccurring theme in these books, a very strange, unique, unusual anecdote and from it there are lessons to every reader's life.

Atomic Habits
James Clear

Now things are getting better. I enjoyed this book, mainly because it is structured in a gradual and interesting way. He uses a lot of good examples to illustrate the idea/s he is preaching.
But frankly I could tell you in two or three sentences what took James Clear few hundred pages to explain:
Change things in very small steps, create some good habits and keep them, associate bad behaviour with a habit and avoid it. Done.
of course this is slight exaggeration, there is a lot more details on that. But I would hesitate to recommend reading this book, if you really want a structured programme to address specific issues; it might help.

The Subtle art of not giving a f*ck
Mark Manson

I really enjoyed reading this (actually it was an audio book, which made it more enjoyable). I picked up a couple of good points that I tried to use in my life and they are useful:
Decide what to care about and what not, in other words, things you should give a fuck about and the things you shouldn't. By doing so you can preserve your time, energy and feelings to what matters to you. But again, this should be common sense really.

The other point that struck me and made me think about a lot of things I did /do is:
Fault and responsibility are two different things: others might make mistakes, then the outcome of their mistake lands on your path, it becomes your responsibility to act, blaming them doesn't change the fact that you are now responsible for what happens next. The example that he gives is a very good one: you open your door to find a new born baby in a basket on your front door; you could blame the person left the baby as much as you like but that doesn't change the fact that it is now your responsibility to act. Shutting the door and leaving the baby outside is your doing and you will be responsible for the consequences! Another example is if someone jumps in front of you in traffic, they are careless drivers, now that is the fault and you can blame them for the irresponsible behaviour. Shouting and cursing, or crashing into the back of their car, that is on you, you are responsible for your reaction, regardless of their fault.

Apart from these things the book does not offer anything substantive, still it is worth reading.

12 rules of life
Jordan Peterson

Jordan Peterson is a very controversial figure, and frankly that is why I read 12 rules of life. I did not want to include this book in this quick review because it will be unfair, but I read it a while ago and did not get to write about it in detail, so before I completely forget it (I am getting old) I thought I need to scribble something down.

Jordan Peterson is a great writer, especially when it comes to work of literature and religious text; he has a unique ability to break down the text in minute details and extracting an unbelievable metaphors and lessons from every word. To give you an example; in sleeping beauty the princess had a needle prick caused by a spinning wheel’s needle. Jordan Peterson takes this well-known Disney fairy tale and starts to analyse the metaphors. The spinning wheel is fate, the pricked bleeding finger in the princess hand is losing virginity and coming of age, sleeping (the plot) because she chooses unconsciousness over the terror of adult life. Now that is brilliant, over the top, but definitely beautiful. The problem now with this complex analytical approach to something as simple as a fairy tale is the same mistake in every book: Generalisation.

Worryingly, Jordan Peterson applies this way of “over-analysing” behaviours over an individual or a group (or lobsters) to apply to our everyday lives. Yes we have issues with hierarchy in society, especially when we talk about the patriarchy, but is this just an evolution we inherited from lobsters?   

 If you really want to get some benefits and self-help from “12 rules of life” just read the table of contents, then try to apply the broad titles to your own life. If you want to read it with critical mind, then you will enjoy parts of it, disagree with many other parts, and then walk away with your own conclusion about Jordan Peterson.

 

 

 

There are three other books that are related but very different: Freakonomics, Super Freakonomics and Outliers. I will try to talk about these at some point, especially Outliers.