This is Going to Hurt:

Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor

 

I knew I would like this book, I heard about it from many people and being an NHS worker, I easily relate to any book or TV programme about life in the NHS. I also listened to various podcasts with Adam Kay being the guest, he is funny, likable, and a very genuine guy who has a real passion about healthcare and the NHS.

In my first job interview as a nurse I was asked what is the thing I most like about nursing? I said: dealing with people, we interact with people, touch their lives when they are most vulnerable, most weak, and most in need, this is very rewarding. Then I was asked what is the thing I most dislike? I said: dealing with people, for the same reasons I listed before. (I did not get that job). This is what it's like to be a healthcare worker: you accumulate stories about people, and this book lists these stories in an intelligent way. 

It is a very funny book, full of hilarious stories that Adam Kay encountered during his time in the NHS. For people working in healthcare these stories, as weird and wonderful as they are, are not unique or strange, we have a tendency to try and top each other’s bizarre story with one we experienced. However, it is very entertaining to read Adam’s stories, he is a very good storyteller and he makes a funny story even funnier.

Of course you can judge a book by its title, and this book is no exception, it is going to hurt. The NHS deals everyday with life and death situations, and every situation despite the similarities is unique, for us and the patients. We tend to walk through these situations thinking it is “just part of the job”, not paying too much attention to how it is affecting us, how it is impacting our daily lives, as humans not just as healthcare workers.

Few months ago, I got home after an unbelievably busy night with the hospital brought to its knees because of COVID. I got home, dressed and went for a walk. I wanted to cry, to shout, but instead I walked till I was exhausted, went back home, few hours of sleep, and back to the battlefield to face it all again, and again, and again. This book did not leave this side out, the dark side of working in hospitals, and be prepared to cry, a lot.

 

We work with people, this is the best thing about our jobs, and the worst; Working with people takes a toll on your life, rewarding as it is, it leaves marks on you and we are not good at dealing with it, but we are very good at suppressing it, hiding it, but never in acknowledging it.  

Adam Kay talks about that, the funny side, the sad side, which all makes the real side of being a doctor, a nurse, or any other healthcare worker in the NHS. I cannot recommend this book enough, as a matter of fact I have not stopped talking about it to my colleagues over the past few weeks.

Ahmad Baker

PS: get the audiobook.. 

     

Palestine remebered- video

 on Friday I gave a talk on Palestine and the history of the palestinian struggle/ conflict. I made the presentation into a video hoping that people who need to know more about this can find that through this easy and informative video.

I would welcome your feedback and notes on how to improve this, if you have any further questions. I have made another shorter version of this video and uploaded it to youtube (link in comments). I tried my best to be objective, factual and to the point, I know I am not and would be happy for corrections.

feel free to share if you find it useful, to tell if you don't.

thanks againg..

Ahmad

Palestine, why it matters?

You might like a political ideology, dislike a religion, approve or disapprove of things that are widely acceptable or controversial. But you must support Palestine.

Many like to think it's a two sided war, about religion and history, and therefore do not have or want to have an opinion about it.

WRONG.

If in any "news story" you struggle to understand the situation, remind yourself of the basics: occupied Palestine! It means that any situation /story is a result of the basic cause of the problem, conflict, struggle : occupation... Any current, past or future issues are all because of the occupation, symptoms of the real underlying disease, the occupation. 

What does occupation mean:

Its not just control of the land, it is control of people's lives. Targeting and indiscriminate killings, ethnic cleansing, apartheid, imprisonment without trials, blockades, preventing people to leave or enter, check points, and taxation without representation. It is a form of slavery and worse, and if you are a human, then you can choose between siding with the oppressed or the oppressor, the occupation or the Palestinians? 

Palestine is the moral compass of humanity, the only population in the world still living under occupation for decades and all the world bears witness to it, silently. This shows how corrupt this world is. Every politician, philosopher, writer, artist I judge them by their stance on Palestine. Because if they don't express their morality about a clear dilemma, how can you trust about anything that could be remotely vague? 

Palestine matters, to Palestinians because its our right, to all of humanity because it is our duty. 

Ahmad Baker 

The Father, or living with dementia

 

 

I watched this movie few weeks ago, I wanted to write about it but could not get my thoughts together. There is not much to say; if you have ever cared for, or worked with someone suffering from dementia, it is a must watch, and it makes sense. If have never cared for a dementia sufferer then you will get mesmerised by this masterclass performance from Hopkins and Colman.

 

The story line is simple, the plot is simple, and there are not many characters to confuse you. It is not Tenet or Inception, a mind blowing thought experiment, it is soft, sweet and a humble journey through weeks or even days in the life of the retired engineer Anthony, except that he has dementia, so things might feel like Tenet and Inception, especially for you, the carer.

 

Have you ever looked at someone’s eyes and all you could see is emptiness! Looking back at you with fear mixed with feeling of being lost, still the person does not know what they want. Vacant, that’s how I can describe their state of mind, they are climbing out bed, or wondering in the corridor, but they do not know what they are running from, and to where!

I was taught as a student that the best way to deal with confused patients (and paranoids) is to go to their world, then bring them slowly to yours. This technique has always been successful, till I start working with dementia sufferers, where reality is jumbled and a lot of it missing, so their world does not exist, and yours- to them- does not make sense.  

The Father made sense to me, I could easily relate to the suffering of Anthony, also to the struggle of his daughter Ann. I have seen this many times, as the patient is suffering, not actually aware of their own suffering, and in the process their family are pushed to the limits, feeling guilty for not being able to help, and equally realising that there is nothing that could help.

 

If you have not watched the Father, then watch it. If you have not worked or cared for someone with dementia, then watch it.